Her whole life, including the winter she was born and the depths of the three since, my elder daughter has kicked off any kind of bedcover, and preferably bedclothes, no matter how cold the weather or the room. (This is the kind of child baby sleeping bags are wonderful for.) Tonight, though, I went into the bedroom and couldn’t see her at all. In the middle of a summer heatwave she unearthed a full quilt, and wrapped herself entirely up in it (including draping it over her face)!
Obviously as soon as I found her that way I pulled it off her, and she’d evidently been able to breathe fine, but she was dripping with sweat. I stayed in the room with her for most of an hour while she cooled down (still asleep the whole time) and longer, and then got DH to reassure me she’s not breathing too fast, so I’m sure she’s fine, but it just reminds me of all the reasons (good and bad, large and small) I want to be around for my girls, and my husband.
Seriously, I don’t let myself worry about actually dying (although it’s a possibility, if the HELLP recurred badly), but I do worry about being in hospital for extended periods of time, being ill or incapacitated, even temporarily, and so on. A day or so is one thing (I go out to work, and socialise with my friends) but the unknown and unexpected absence is scarier.
My DH is a wonderful father, and better at many of the day to day things (cooked meals, bedtimes) than I am, but that doesn’t mean our daughters don’t need us both. Need me.