It’s a long way off, but here they are, definitely in descending order of importance.
- I don’t die.
- Baby doesn’t die.
- *Everything* gets fully explained to me at every point.
- We’re both healthy.
- Time to bond and initiate breastfeeding directly after birth.
- DH and doula with me as much as I want them.
- No-one takes offence if I want to be alone at any point.
- Avoid ICU.
- No separation between me and baby after birth.
- Avoid Caesarean section.
- Contact with my daughters during labour and any/all hospital time.
- *I* choose the position of the bed, however I’m using it. (Sitting/lying on it, or leaning against it.)
- No epidural.
- Avoid induction.
- Not stuck on bed during labour or birth.
- I choose my birth position.
- Mobility as I want it and feel up to.
- Allow labour to begin naturally.
- Food and drink I want, when I want them.
- Funny, light-hearted books with nothing to do with birth, motherhood, health, etc.
I would love a home birth, but it’s not something I feel safe enough to hope for, let alone organise. I can’t face the disappointment of things not going as I want, again. That’s why I’m making this priority list. I want everything on this list, and just because I don’t get something higher doesn’t mean everything else can be discounted, but it does give me various points to potentially count as success, even if I don’t get to have it all.
This list may well change over the next few months (I’m sure there are things I’ve left off), but here’s the starter version.